Living on Campus :: Roommate Relationships
Having a roommate is an exciting and often rewarding experience. It is important that you are able to establish and maintain a positive relationship. Roommates need not share every aspect of college life together, and are not necessarily best friends; however, all roommates need an understanding of one another's lifestyles, values and expectations.
Communication between roommates is the key to establishing a positive relationship. This relationship will contribute to your overall satisfaction with college life. You should discuss any problems that arise and should work together to resolve any differences. Keep in mind that individual rights to sleep, study and to privacy precede all other rights, including visitation and other privileges.
when a conflict arises
- In private, approach the roommate or person displaying the unacceptable behavior.
- Be direct and specific (not insensitive) about the problem or concern.
- Discuss the person's behavior, not the person's personality (this enables the person to be less defensive).
- If the situation does not improve, arrange to meet again with the roommate or person.
- Each person involved should take a turn describing his/her perception of the situation, how he/she feels about it and what he/she wants.
- Each person should agree to a compromise and help develop a solution.
- Together, develop a plan of action and set a timeframe for the changes to occur.
- Set a future date to evaluate the situation and renegotiate if necessary.
- If a person finds it difficult to approach a roommate or a roommate is unresponsive, seek assistance from the community advisor. Take the initiative to act positively.
To assist you and your roommate/suitemate with getting to know each other and setting out some preliminary expectations regarding living together for the upcoming year, we encourage you to read and complete a roommate or suitemate agreement at the beginning of the year. This agreement may be found at Roommate Agreement (PDF; 31K)