RISE Blog | Dorm Domestic Violence

By: Kai McDonald, Peer Educator
March 17th, 2023

TW: This blog contains information surrounding abuse, sexual assault, and partner violence

College dorms often become a home away from home for a lot of college students. Our homes are meant to be a safe place and provide security for us, but unfortunately, they can become a place of danger and harm. Many of us are aware of domestic violence, which is defined by the Department of Justice Office of Violence Against Women (OVW), as “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.” Commonly, domestic violence scenarios are represented as happening in a family or friend's home away from college, or partners living together out in the town, but domestic violence is not limited just to your hometown or off-campus living, it can happen in residence halls as well.

What can domestic violence look like?

While domestic violence is often heard to be physical or sexual abuse, it can take other harmful forms as well. This looks like emotional, economical, psychological, and technological abuse (OVW, 2022). Some examples of a partner exhibiting domestic violence can include:

Sexual coercion
Constantly criticizing the victim
Hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing, hair pulling, etc.
Causing fear by intimidation
Destruction of property
Threats to harm the victim or themselves
Stalking, whether physically or electronically
Forcing sex with others
Isolation from friends, school, work, and/or family
Taking the victim's money or refusing to pay for their own expenses
Pressuring or coercing the victim to use drugs and/or alcohol
Refusing to wear protection or sabotaging birth control
Controlling the victim's life and preventing them to make their own choices

The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically, and multiple methods of abuse may be used, but the biggest and most consistent component of domestic violence is one partner's consistent efforts to maintain power and control over the other. It is also important to remember that domestic violence can affect anyone, regardless of age, economic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, religion, and nationality (NCADV, 2023). College students are no exception to this, and unfortunately, domestic violence and sexual assault are very prominent on college campuses across the nation.

Domestic Violence and College Dorms

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence released that about 1 in 5 college students said that they have been abused by an intimate partner. Other statistics involving domestic violence include 53% of victims of domestic violence were abused by a current or former partner, 21% of students report having experienced dating violence by a current partner, and 32% of students experienced dating violence by a previous partner. Domestic violence at the university level can be even more challenging since victims are prone to feel more isolated.

Living in a dorm means that many students are away from home for the first time, and this can pull them from trusted support networks that they have established and left isolated in a residence hall that they may share with their abuser. Abusers are more likely to have keycard access to residence halls and cases of domestic violence tend to occur at home, in this case, residence halls, and at night when there are fewer witnesses (Charles R. Ullman & Associates, 2021). College dorms are just as susceptible to cases of domestic violence as a home or off-campus living space would be, and even worse, they can make victims feel more trapped since it is on campus, in or near the same building as the abuser, and limits the number of safe spaces a victim may have.

What Can Dorm-Specific Domestic Violence Look Like?

While many of the actions mentioned above are forms of domestic violence, there are other examples that may pertain particularly to dorm or roommate living. This can include:

The abuser takes the victim's room key, or keycard, locks them out, or in, or controls access to their living space in general
Spreading nasty rumors about the victim to their floor or other roommates in order to turn people against the victim
Making false claims to housing management to try and sabotage the victim
Creating a living space for the victim that holds a lot of tension or feels unsafe to go home to
Recording and taking pictures of the victim without consent
Placing hidden cameras in the victim's room/living space without consent

These are only a handful of examples that can indicate dorm violence but not all. Even if the victim has not experienced any of these specifically, other actions that cause the victim to feel unsafe, stressed, and scared to return home could indicate dorm abuse (Roommate Abuse,2022).

Conflict versus Abuse

Conflict within relationships, whether it be between roommates, partners, or friends, is completely normal and can be a healthy part of a relationship when handled appropriately. However, the line between conflict and abuse can become blurry, and make it hard for an abuse victim to recognize that their roommate/partner “conflicts” are in fact abuse. One of the biggest key differences between abuse and conflict is intent.

When healthy conflict or arguments happen, this is because there is a struggle to find a mutual agreement over a situation, and both parties just want their thoughts and feelings to be heard. Both parties want to find a solution to their concerns in an equal and respectful manner. Abuse uses words or actions to control and hurt someone purposefully, and it is not about mutual respect, but a consistent pattern of an abuser gaining control over a partner to establish their own dominance. If someone has to resort to harmful words or actions, is consistently establishing fear, dominance, or control over a victim, and is not showing mutual respect, it is no longer conflict, but instead is abuse (Lyons, 2019).

You Are Not Alone

If you think you or someone you know might be facing dorm domestic violence, there are resources and ways to navigate the situation. At TTU, victims of domestic violence are protected under Title IX laws. This means colleges and universities have a duty to investigate cases of domestic violence and take measures to protect students from their abusers while making respective accommodations to aid a victim's situation. This can include housing assistance and counseling services if a student feels unsafe in their dorm. Title IX reports can be made on TTU's Title IX website, and a Case Management Team Member will reach out to you or the person of concern to build a support plan or discuss different options available.

Of course, if you have further questions or may need further assistance, the office of RISE is here to help as well. You are not alone, and your campus resources and peer educators are here to support you.