Texas Tech University

Healthy Relationships

It Starts with Consent

TTU defines consent as mutually understandable words or actions, actively communicated both knowingly and voluntarily, that clearly convey permission for a specific activity.

Consent can be revoked at any time verbally or nonverbally by clearly communicating to the other partner. 

For more information, visit our sexual health and consent page.

Online Dating

Boundaries & expectations:

  • It's each person's responsibility to communicate their needs, feelings, and intentions.
  • Choose dating apps focusing on the connection you want to make.
  • Determine your boundaries and automatic left swipes.

Safety tips:

  • Meet first at a neutral, public location that you're comfortable with.
  • Share information with a trusted friend.
  • Have an exit strategy and a plan to get home safely.

Things to look for in a potential match:

  • Alignment of beliefs and values
  • Clear and honest communication
  • Respectful interactions
  • Healthy conflict resolution
Interpersonal Violence

¼ women and 1/7 men 18+ have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner. 39% of LGBTQIA men and over half of LGBTQIA women experience abuse from their partners.

  • Dating violence: Any type of abuse that occurs between two people identified as being in a dating relationship.
  • Domestic violence: Abuse occurring between two cohabitating people, regardless of a dating dynamic.
  • Stalking: Behavior, which includes but is not limited to, knowingly and repeatedly engaging in conduct that they know/reasonably should know the other person will regard as unwelcome and would cause a reasonable person to be fearful or suffer substantial emotional distress. This can be in-person or online.

Abuse in relationships can be physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, financial, or digital. For a Student Code of Conduct Sexual Misconduct Definitions from Title IX see Section D: Sexual Misconduct Procedures for Students. 

Know the Signs

57% of college students report it's difficult to identify dating abuse.

Healthy Relationships Unhealthy Relationships
Comfortable pace Intensity
Trust Jealousy
Honesty Manipulation
Respect Sabotage
Independence Isolation
Equality Belittling
Compassion Guilting
Communication Volatility
Taking responsibility Deflecting responsibility
Loyalty Betrayal
Power Imbalances

The following are examples of types of abuse college students may face.

Isolation

Threatening physical harm

Threatening to complete suicide if relationship ends

Threatening to destroy/hurt things/people

Blackmailing partner

Making partner afraid

Threatening to tell partner's secrets to friends or family

Using ultimatums 

Academic Abuse & Humiliation

Transferring to a partner's class to monitor them

Controlling their class attendance

Undermining academic status, grades, or intelligence

Looking at grades/assignments without permission

Deliberately starting fights the night before an exam to affect academic success

Preventing partner form applying to jobs/internships

Manipulation & Limiting Independence

Controlling where and with whom partner can spend time

Pressuring partner to choose between them and their friends

Preventing partner from going to class or work

Creating a wedge between partner and friends

Forcing their partner to live with them

Using anger or the silent treatment as punishment 

Love bombing

Controlling finances

Using financial power as blackmail

Requiring permission for activities or spending money

Determining what a partner can do and/or wear

Pressuring partner to drinking more than they would like

Treating partner like a child

Sexual Abuse

Deliberately causing pregnancy

Using drugs or alcohol to acquire sex

Making comparisons to past partners

Flirting with others to make partner feel inadequate

Rape or sexual violence

Pressuring or coercing partner to engage in sexual activity

Controlling choices about abortion, birth control, or STI screening

Physical Abuse

Hitting, punching, choking, slapping, kicking, pushing, pulling hair, biting, tripping, or grabbing partner without expressed consent

Throwing objects

Punching doors or walls

Destroying valuables or sentimental items

Hurting their pets

Possessiveness & Harassment

Following partner or showing up uninvited to location

Stalking

Constantly calling or texting when apart

Jealousy or framing jealousy as a sign of love

Monitoring or hacking phone

If you or a friend are in an abusive relationship or wondering if you are, report the incident to receive support and create an action plan.

How to Support a Survivor

58% of college students say they don't know how to help someone who is a victim of dating abuse.

Tips for supporting a survivor:

  • Be empathetic and nonjudgmental.
  • Actively listen.
  • Validate their feelings and experience.
  • Ask how you can support them.
  • Respect their decisions and needs.
  • Refer survivor to resources and encourage them to get help.
  • Check in and provide ongoing support.
Resources
texas tech resources
TTU Title IX Provides supportive measures and resources, academic support, housing assistance, medical and counseling services, parking assistance, and a safety plan after an incident occurs.
Student Counseling Center Licensed mental health care providers offer individual, couple, and group counseling, or students can independently care for themselves at the MindSpa.
Family Therapy Clinic Provides affordable therapy to individuals, couples, and families. Offers caring and confidential therapeutic services to address a wide range of issues.
STI Testing Locations List of STI testing centers on campus and in Lubbock with all the information you need to know before you go.
community resources
Voice of Hope Rape Crisis Center Offers a 24-hour crisis hotline, counseling services, and assistance for sexual assault victims and non-offending family members and friends affected by the trauma of sexual assault/sex trafficking. Crisis Hotline: 806-763-RAPE.
Women's Protective Services Offers a 24-hour crisis hotline, shelter, individual and group therapy, support groups, and assistance and advocacy for women, men, and children who have experienced domestic violence.
UMC Emergency Room Confidential emergency health care close to campus. Offers forensic (SANE) exams within 96 hours of an assault.
Covenant Emergency Room Confidential emergency health care close to campus. Offers forensic (SANE) exams within 96 hours of assault.
Good Day Psychiatry Good Day Psychiatry provides compassionate psychiatric care wherein individuals can feel safe, heard, understood, and respected with services like psychiatric assistance, substance use, disordered eating, life transitions, mood disorders, and trauma and PTSD.
national resources
National Domestic Violence Hotline Text START to 88788 or call 1-800-799-SAFE to receive essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic abuse.
National Sexual Assault Hotline 24/7/365 hotline that serves people affected by sexual violence. Call 800-656-4673 to be connected to a trained staff from a sexual assault service provider in your area.
One Love Foundation Empowers students with tools and resources to see the signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships.
 Love is Respect Offers support, information, and advocacy to young people in need, and concerned friends and family who have questions to prevent or end abusive relationships.
Stalking Resource Center Provides crisis intervention, information, and support to individuals who experience stalking.
The Recovery Village Provides an educational guide on the link between domestic violence and substance abuse, and how to recognize the signs and get help.

Risk Intervention & Safety Education

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