RISE Blog | Healthy Friendships

By: Sochinenyenwa Onubogu, Peer Educator
June 16th, 2022

As a college student, maintaining a healthy friendship can be difficult. It is said that college students are all preparing to become adults who will enter the “real world”, with no time for friends. However, the relationships that I have created with my friends adds to the optimism I have for my future, and theirs as well. Having friends is something I appreciate wholeheartedly, and I want everyone to know the value of maintaining such relationships.

Today, I want to discuss a list of some key factors in maintaining a healthy friendship and the benefits of doing so.

• Be supportive, trustworthy, and honest
• Listen to your friend's advice
• Don't be judgmental
• Respect your friend's boundaries
• Forgive and seek forgiveness

When it comes to my friends, I am ecstatic to support them. An unhealthy practice would include being jealous of your friend's success. You should be happy to watch them succeed as they should for you. Without trust, there is no friendship. You must establish trust with your friends so that the respect you have for each other will remain, whether or not you are in each other's presence. Lastly, honesty and good communication. If a problem arises, it is important that you talk to each other. And with that being said, the way you talk to each other is also important. You do not want to lash out or speak harshly to your friend. But if you must be firm, there is a respectful way to do it! In a healthy friendship, these will not feel difficult to do.

My friends frequently come to me for advice as I do for them. It should not feel like a bother, as you should not feel like a burden. Listening intently to my friends' problems and giving them advice is something I want to do because I care for their wellbeing. An unhealthy practice in this case would be creating a one-sided dynamic by only expecting your friend to listen and help you with your problems. Friendships are two-sided and require work from both ends. Also, make sure that you know your friends' triggers and take that into account when discussing trauma.

Something I have had to learn and appreciate the most is a “judge-free zone.” I personally make this higher on my list when discussing healthy friendship practices. The feeling of being able to tell a friend anything with no hostility is such a relief. Sometimes, it can be hard to tell if you've gotten to that point with someone. The fear of oversharing or being a bother may arise. I have learned that once you establish trust, everything else will fall in line.

When it comes to maintaining a healthy friendship, you must also remember to respect your friends' boundaries. Therefore, it's especially important to establish boundaries from the very beginning. Especially when making newer friends later in life, it's important to acknowledge that you don't know their whole life story. Once you build and grow together, if they feel comfortable confiding in you about any of their struggles, it's a good sign. Show them that you support them, and if they want advice, offer it to them.

Finally, everyone makes mistakes. Within a healthy friendship it is possible that conflict may arise. The way you and your friends decide to resolve conflict is important for maintaining a healthy friendship. It is important that you and your friends can take accountability and seek forgiveness. It is also important to forgive a friend for making a mistake. There are circumstances where this may not be the case, and that's normal. But, between friends who care deeply for one another, you'll realize the conflict is not worth breaking up a healthy friendship.

I understand that being in college makes it hard to keep up with friends, and therefore I stress good communication. There is a great significance of maintaining healthy friendships, and my life is better because of it. 

 

Referenced:

Degges-White, S. 2018. 6 Rules for Healthy Friendships. Psychology Today. 

 

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