RISE Blog | Understanding Sexual Coercion

By: Dannie Haakinson, Peer Educator
April 14th, 2023

Content warning: Sexual assault and brief examples of coercion 

Every sexually active person deserves to have a healthy sex life, and this includes enthusiastic consent. Today, I'll be telling you about sexual coercion; what it is, what it can look like, and resources available to you to get support if you ever find yourself in a similar situation. 

What is Sexual Coercion? 

The Office on Women's Health (2021) defines sexual coercion as “unwanted sexual activity that happens when you are pressured, tricked, threatened, or forced in a nonphysical way.” This act can involve verbal guilt tripping or persistently asking for sex/sexual activity, threatening to do something negative to a person or their reputation, and/or getting someone intoxicated for the purpose of tricking them into an unwanted activity. When coercion is present in a sexual situation, consent is no longer there. Any person offering consent must be freely and voluntarily granting permission, and this does not take place when a person is coerced into sexual activity. It is important to note that sexual coercion can look a lot of different ways and can happen to anyone.

What does sexual coercion look like? 

The goal of sexual coercion is to make a person feel like there is no other option but the one they are given, and that refusing to offer consent is not a safe option. That's why it is extremely important to understand ways a person may manipulate someone into a sexual activity, so you can be alert and recognize when you or someone you know are in an unsafe situation. 

Before jumping into it, let me guide you through a non-sexual example. Let's say two people decided to go to the fair, and person A wants to ride the roller coaster there, but person B dislikes heights and doesn't want to ride. If person A pouted the rest of the night, persistently saying things like “I thought we were friends, why won't you ride with me!” that would probably make person B feel like they did something wrong, and they might feel obligated to ride, which wouldn't be fair or respectful to person B.  

If the persistence didn't work, and person A decided to get person B to have a few drinks in the hopes that it would be easier to convince them to ride the roller coaster, that would be a breach of person B's trust and autonomy and could end in them hurt. The best thing for person A to do is respect that they don't want to ride the coaster with them, and they could both spend the night having fun in a way they're both comfortable with! Keep this in mind while we move to the examples of how this can present itself in sexual encounters.

Sexual coercion can take the form of persistently asking to wear someone down, or to guilt them/make them feel obligated to say yes. Phrases like “if you really loved me, you'd do it,” or “It's not fair for you to not do this” are examples of this and can often make a person feel like they're doing something wrong for not wanting to move further.

Another form of coercion may be threats to another person, saying things like “I'll break up with you if you don't do this,” or “I'll hurt you/myself if you don't say yes.” This can also happen in LGBTQIA relationships, specifically in the form of threatening to out someone's sexual orientation or gender identity if they don't agree to participate (Office on Women's Health, 2021).

Alcohol and drugs can also be utilized to coerce someone into sexual activity, if used with the intent of making it easier to trick someone into the behavior. The lines of consent blur with the use of intoxicating substances, and if one party is using substances to impair another party's decision making, all consent is negated (Villines, 2022). To avoid harming someone, it is best to engage in sexual behaviors when all parties are sober.

How can someone respond to sexual coercion?

No matter what happens, sexual assault and sexual coercion are never the fault of the victim. If the situation allows for it, standing up for oneself can be a viable option in the moment. If verbal responses are a safe option, saying “I don't owe you an explanation,” or “you should respect that I do not want to move forward” can be good to make a person realize they are crossing a boundary. Consent is an open and honest conversation, and someone could be speaking or behaving coercively without intending to. If someone is in a situation where they feel like they are being coerced into something they do not want to do, and it is not safe/possible to openly communicate, it can be best to leave the situation altogether, or have an out, like a friend who can come get them (Raypole, 2020). Remember, you can't be forced onto a roller coaster you don't want to ride! People should always respect your boundaries, and you should always respect the boundaries of others.

Knowing Your Resources 

No matter your situation, you can come talk to us here at RISE for support and resources. Our office in Drane 247 is open from 8am to 5pm on weekdays, and we're here for you! If you feel like you have been a victim of sexual coercion and need additional support, you can talk to the TTU Title IX office and file the offense. The TTU Title IX office investigates cases of sexual misconduct and can provide a variety of support and resources for whatever needs you may have. Whatever type of support you want, they will provide! The TTU Student Counseling Center offers therapy, counseling, and crisis intervention services that are free to all students. Everyone is deserving of a safe, healthy, and consensual sex life that is free from coercion. 

Resources 

References

Office on Women's Health. (2015). Sexual coercion.U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Raypole, C. (2020). What Does Sexual Coercion Look Like?Healthline.

Villines, Z. (2022). Sexual coercion: Definition, examples, and recovery.Medical News Today.
  

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