RISE Blog | Consent Crash Course

Written By: Presley Black, Graduate Assistant of Outreach and Marketing, Edited by Elizabeth Perry

April 19th, 2024

CW: Discussion of non-consensual activities

Talking about consent is a vital part of any healthy relationship. It allows both people in the relationship to communicate their feelings and boundaries. Asking for consent and consenting means that each partner is being transparent about their needs and wants. When you ask for consent, you are ensuring you are respecting your partner's limits and boundaries. 

However, it might be challenging to ask for consent when you're unsure of what your partner wants. It can also be difficult if you feel uncomfortable or unsure of what you want. This is why it's important to understand what consent is and isn't and revocation.

Defining Consent

At Texas Tech, consent is defined as “mutually understandable words or actions, actively communicated both knowingly and voluntarily, that clearly convey permission for sexual activity.” In our definition, we try to make it clear that consent should be communicated openly, both through words and body language. Generally, consent is about respecting and understanding each partners' boundaries. 

Consent is also about communication. Talking openly with your partner about your expectations and boundaries before engaging in sexual behavior can help you and your partner better understand each other. This communication is important to have every time you engage in sexual activity. Just because you consent to one activity in the past doesn't mean that you will want to consent to that activity in the future.

What Consent is and What Consent Isn't  

Consent is:

• Freely and actively given
• Words or actions that show a willingness to participate in mutually agreed upon activity
• Enthusiastic 
• Mutual
• Voluntary and free of pressure and/or guilt
• An ongoing process that should be asked for every step of the way

There is no consent if:

• There is physical force or threat of physical force
• Someone is underage
• Someone is intoxicated or incapacitated by drugs, alcohol, or sleep
• Someone is mentally disabled to the extent that they cannot understand the sexual act
• There are unequal power dynamics
• Someone says “no” at any time

How to Ask for Consent 

When asking for consent, the clearest way to ask is verbally and directly. Although this may seem intimidating, it's important to remember that this does not have to be a long conversation (Meer, 2022). It can be easy to use short statements like “Is this okay?” or “Do you want me to do this?”

Asking for consent also involves letting your partner know that you can stop at any time. A part of this involves checking in with your partner periodically to make sure that both parties are still having a good time. Checking can again be as simple as asking, “Do you like that?”

Revocation of COnsent

Consent is not permanent and can be withdrawn at any time; this is known as the revocation of consent. This means that, at any time, one partner can revoke their consent by communicating to the other partner. Revocation does not have to be verbal; consent can also be revoked using non-verbal cues. For example, non-verbal communication could look like stopping the activity, moving your partner's hands away, or closed body language (Meer, 2022). Verbal phrases could be as simple as “no,” “stop,” or “I don't know if I want this.” All methods of revocation are valid ways to withdraw consent. 

If you are concerned that your partner is no longer giving consent, take a second to stop and check in with them--it won't ruin the mood! This makes sure that consent is still ongoing and that both parties are comfortable.

The Bottom Line

Talking about sex and consent can be intimidating, so knowing the proper ways to talk about it is key. While having a conversation with your partner about consent may seem like a daunting task, without consent it's not sex-- it's sexual assault. To engage in safe, healthy, and happy sex, consent is non-negotiable. 

Resources

• Student Counseling Center
  • 806-742-3674 | studentcounselingcenter@ttu.edu | 201 Student Wellness Center
• TTU Crisis Helpline
  • 806-742-5555
• Title IX
  • 806-834-1949 | kimberly.simon@ttu.edu | Student Union Building Suite 232

References

Meer, T. (2022). 8 things to know about sexual consent. Clue. 

Planned Parenthood. (2022). How do I talk about consent? 

RAINN. (2022). What consent looks like. 

 

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