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RISE Blog | Don’t Get Cuffed Into “Cuffing Season”

Written By: Rae McDonald, Peer Educator
Edited By: Elizabeth Perry
October 4th, 2024

Finally! The weather is cooling off, we're pulling out our sweaters and beanies, and our favorite pumpkin spice flavors are back at the coffee shop. Fall has arrived, and right behind it is the holiday season. The holidays also come with another type of season, one that many of us have likely heard about before - and if not, that’s ok! I’m going to explain all about the cold-weather tradition that is “Cuffing Season”, what it is, its background, why we should be a little cautious about it, and how to navigate your way through this “single season”. 

“Cuffing Season” - What’s That?

If you’ve heard about cuffing season before, it may carry some kind of negative connotation or be associated with more sexual ideas. However, as defined by Merriam-Webster (2020), cuffing season is simply “a period of time where single people begin looking for short-term partnerships to pass the colder months of the year.” This period begins around October and can run as late as February or March, essentially covering the colder months. To “be cuffed” is just a reference to getting together with another person, though it can carry weight due to societal notions that you are “handcuffing” or trapping yourself with another person for the season. 

Gotcha! But Where Does It Come From?

Cuffing Season has both scientific and societal backing for showing up with the chilly winds and holiday scents each year. Changes in temperature and daylight are connected to two mood-altering chemicals in our bodies: melatonin and serotonin. Shorter days with longer, darker nights can trigger feelings of loneliness and lead to drops in serotonin - some call this “the winter blues”. The holidays can be stressful, especially with the potentially dreaded trips home and family questioning every detail about your college life (8 Strategies for Dating During Cuffing Season, 2022). One way our brains try to cope with this dip in serotonin is by seeking comfort in someone, creating a sense of security through a partnership during holiday events instead of facing them alone. 

Society also tends to put a lot of pressure on “getting cuffed”. Adorable social media posts of ice-skating dates and partners sharing coffee by the fire can really amplify feelings of loneliness. Then, when you go home, you might face the classic questions: “So have you met anyone lately?’ or “Any special someone in your life?” These can become nagging and draining to hear over time. Not having a partner during Cuffing Season can lead to feelings of shame, and those in relationships may sometimes look down on people who are single during this time. All of this can contribute to the drive to “cuff” someone or be “cuffed” yourself. 

That Makes Sense. Are There Any Concerns About Cuffing Season?

While it’s okay to find a partner during the holidays, it is important to treat cautiously. Cuffing season can sometimes put people at a higher risk of getting into unwanted or unhealthy relationships. Due to both chemical and social pressures, you might find yourself in a relationship you don’t truly want. During this season, people are often more likely to lower their expectations or standards for the sake of convenience. They may choose a “convenient and available” partner rather than someone who is a true match, which can lead to hurt feelings later on. 

If you’re looking for a healthy, long-term relationship, cuffing season might make that harder to achieve. While relationships that begin during cuffing season can sometimes grow into something long-lasting, most are often short-lived, lasting only through the colder months (8 Strategies for Dating During Cuffing Season, 2022). But don’t worry—there are plenty of ways to navigate cuffing season safely and maintain a happy, healthy relationship.

How Not to Get “Cuffed” During Cuffing Season

Cuffing season can feel overwhelming, but there are some quick tips to help you navigate it. Before diving into any strategies, there are a few core fundamentals to keep in mind: self-care, self-awareness, communication, and healthy boundaries are essential to your “survival guide” this season and in any relationship. Here are some general strategies to help keep both yourself and your relationships healthy and happy:

  • Self-care: You are your top priority. Always care for yourself first before entering into any relationship. Be kind to yourself and practice self-love before turning your attention to someone else.
  • Self-awareness: Listen to what you want, need, and are looking for before making any decisions about getting involved with someone else.
  • Open and honest communication: Don’t be afraid to set ground rules. Define whether you’re looking for something short-term or long-term, discuss your wants and needs, and express how you feel about the relationship’s current and potential state.
  • Healthy boundary setting: Boundaries are “the framework we set for ourselves on how we want to be treated by others and how we treat other people.” They promote physical and emotional well-being, and they respect both your needs and your partner’s needs in a relationship. A good way to set boundaries is by asking yourself questions like, “What makes me happy?”, “What makes me feel safe?”, “What makes me feel respected and valued?”, and “What am I comfortable or uncomfortable with in a relationship?” Answering these questions can help you ensure healthy boundaries and, ultimately, a healthy relationship (How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Relationships, 2022).

And remember—being single is perfectly okay! Don’t feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to. If you feel like sitting out of a relationship this season, that’s fine. Take time to reconnect with yourself. If you’re feeling down on those colder nights, practice self-care. Get a cozy, holiday-themed blanket and curl up with your favorite movie, book, or video game. One of the most important forms of love is self-love.

I Think I Understand Cuffing Season Better. Anything Else I Should Know?

Remember, you’re not alone during this season! If you ever need to talk to someone, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. We’re here for you at RISE—stop by our office, and we can offer the support and resources you need. In the meantime, here’s a quick list of resources available to you:

Resources

References

8 Strategies for Dating During Cuffing Season. (2022, October 17). Cleveland Clinic.

Editors of Merriam-Webster. (2020, February 11). When Is Cuffing Season? | Meaning of Cuffing Season. In The Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary.

How To Set Healthy Boundaries in Relationships. (2022, July 12). Cleveland Clinic.

 

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