When it Feels Like Everyone Has Their Life Together: Why Social Media Isn’t Reflective of Reality 

Written By: Sarah Geri, Niha Parkash, & Giana Matheny, Peer Educators
Edited By: Faith Dolan
October 31st, 2025

The Highlight Reel Illusion

Every day, we scroll through stories, reels, and posts that make it seem like everyone else has their life together. We see perfect routines, perfect smiles, and perfect days. It's easy to forget that what we see on our screens isn't a mirror; it's a filter. Someone posts a beach picture with "grateful for today," even though they were cramming for an exam the day before. Another uploads a cozy "study date" vlog, but they may have been studying alone last week. Social media doesn't exactly lie; it just leaves out the unfiltered parts. 

Social media has a way of turning everyday moments into movie trailers, highlighting the best clips while cutting out the real ones. Still, it's not all bad. The late-night memes, chaotic reels, and comment-section jokes can be the best stress relief after a long day. But somewhere between laughing at "relatable" posts and comparing ourselves to others, we start forgetting that everyone's just showing their best edit. 

The Illusion of Perfection

On apps like Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok, there are so many ways people can alter their appearance. Things like AI, filters, and editing can let anyone change how they present online. Comparing your life to others online can lead to holding unrealistic expectations for yourself, which can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and negative self-esteem. Jed, 2025).

Outside of physical comparisons, social media sites where people can post their academic and career accomplishments, such as LinkedIn, can lead to intense self-comparison. It is super easy to get trapped in a cycle of wondering, "Why am I not as successful as my peers?" However, comparing yourself in any form will inevitably lead to the notion that your goals and accomplishments are smaller in comparison. Constant exposure to perfect online lives can make small moments in our own lives feel less meaningful, even though they're the ones that matter most. 

We've all been there: scrolling through someone's vacation post while sitting in class with cold coffee and half-finished notes. It's not jealousy exactly, but a quiet feeling that we're falling behind. Social media often makes everyday achievements feel too ordinary, like they don't count unless they're picture-perfect. But in real life, no one gets graded on how "aesthetic" their day looks. What we forget is that most people post when they feel good, not when they're struggling. 

According to Durrani (2024), social platforms highlight the illusion of reality by pushing people to perform happiness rather than live it. So, while it looks like everyone is thriving, the truth is that most of us are just doing our best, and that's perfectly okay. When we start appreciating the small, unposted moments like laughing with friends, finishing that last lab report before midnight, calling family after a long day, walking to class with your favorite song playing, or enjoying a coffee with someone who makes you smile, we start to see how good the simple things really are. Life is messy and unpredictable, and the small parts are still worth celebrating.

Celebrate Real Moments

To stop falling into comparison, try grounding yourself in what's real. If a post makes you feel behind, remind yourself that everyone's timing is different. Celebrate your own progress, even if it's something small like getting out of bed early or finishing an assignment you were dreading.  You can also unfollow or mute accounts that make you doubt yourself and fill your feed with ones that inspire peace, growth, or humor. 

It's not about deleting apps or avoiding the internet altogether. It's about learning to enjoy your life as it happens, not how it looks on screen. 

Behind the Filter: Why We See What We See

The online world runs on attention. The more emotional or extreme something is, the faster it spreads. Leetaru (2016) explains that platforms are built to push dramatic content to the top because that's what keeps people engaged. The calm, ordinary side of life rarely gets seen, even though that's what most of life really is.

Think about how your feed looks. Maybe it's a TikTok of someone taking a spontaneous weekend trip to New York, or a classmate showing off a spotless "study setup" with three monitors, matcha, and fairy lights. You may see one of those "productive day in my life" vlogs where people seem to fit a gym session, perfect grades, and a social life into 24 hours. It looks effortless, but what we don't see is the stress, the late nights, or the days that don't make it online.

Even everyday things get filtered for attention. Someone posts a ten-second "morning routine" where they light a candle, journal, and pour an aesthetic coffee, but skips the part where they sprint to class five minutes late. Or a friend posts smiling brunch photos after an argument you know they had the night before. 

PBS NewsHour (2023) found that only a small group of highly active users creates most of what we see online. That means our feeds are shaped by a tiny slice of voices and lifestyles that may not represent the people we know. So, when your timeline is filled with people announcing new internships, relationship milestones, or fitness transformations, it's easy to feel like you're behind, even when you're doing great in your own way. It helps to remember that algorithms choose what we see, not truth or balance. They're not trying to show us real life, just what keeps us scrolling. Once we realize that, it becomes easier to step back and focus on our own reality.

The less we let our screens define what matters, the more we start noticing the small, beautiful things happening right around us, like walking across campus at sunset, laughing with a friend, or feeling the relief after submitting a tough assignment. Those quiet, unposted moments are the ones that make life real.

Mindful Scrolling: Protecting Your Peace

It would be unrealistic for us to recommend that you abandon social media altogether. While this practice would ultimately improve mental health in the long run, many young adults may feel like deleting these apps would make them feel disconnected from the world around them. However, we can work to take care of ourselves if we choose to use social media.

When you scroll, small acts of self-care can make a big difference. Try pausing before reacting to a post and asking how it makes you feel. If certain accounts constantly bring up stress or comparison, it's okay to mute or unfollow them. Following pages that promote kindness, realistic wellness, or positive body image can shift your feed toward positivity. You can even set a timer or take short breaks to check in with yourself. Mindful scrolling doesn't mean giving up social media; it just means using it in a way that protects your peace. Social media isn't the enemy; it's just not the full story. It blends truth with filters, turning normal life into a highlight reel. By using these techniques, scrolling becomes a lot more fun and a lot less about comparing our real lives to someone else's camera roll.

Get Connected! 

Social media can give an illusion that we are connecting with the people we see online. However, the reality is that we are only able to connect with the image someone curates of themselves. Here, we see a loss of what makes us human: vulnerability and authenticity. 

Instead, think about things you can do or partake in that incline you to spend less time on social media. We know that putting your phone down and getting more connected in the community can be intimidating as a college student. You may not know where to start, feeling nervous or unmotivated to put yourself out there. However, each step that we take to form connections in our community is a step we take towards embracing everyday life and the small things that make us human. Remember, if things get too overwhelming online and you find yourself sucked into a vacuum of doom scrolling, you can close the app, take a deep breath, and take a break.

There are a variety of places on campus made just for students to find a safe space within the community. One of these examples is the Student Mental Health Community, located on the 2nd floor of Weeks Hall. They host weekly mental health meetings for students who are likely experiencing the things you are. They also offer drop-in support hours, a student kitchen, and printing services. Another way to get connected on campus is through Tech Connect, which is where all university events and organizations are posted. There are hundreds of organizations on campus, and you may be one meeting away from finding your best friend! It may be scary, but connection helps us work towards better mental health. 

Outside of the campus community, you can also spend time finding a hobby you enjoy. Hours of scrolling can make us easily forget the hobbies that we enjoy, but try to think about what makes you happy and helps with your stress! This could be something creative, such as journaling or drawing, or something like taking a walk or hanging out with a friend or family. 

Whether it be through organizations, going to the gym, or spending time doing self-care, it's important to find the things that make you forget about scrolling for a while. Finding hobbies you enjoy allows you not to get stuck inside your head, and it breaks that cycle of comparing yourself to others. Doing things offline can also help you practice mindfulness by reflecting on how you feel when taking a break from social media compared to when you spend a morning scrolling in bed for hours. Notice these differences and allow yourself to be in the moment. 

Your Life Isn't Made Complete With Social Media

Social media is a huge part of our everyday lives.. As college students, it's easy to get sucked into the cycle of scrolling. Constantly seeing pictures of your classmates going out and "living the dream" can be very damaging to our mental health and self-image at times. However, it's important to remember that what we see on social media is only what people want to share. Most people will not post their failed quizzes or missed job opportunities on social media for everyone to see. Everyone's life experiences and journeys are unique, and that is okay! If social media gets to be too much, you can always take a break, get involved with the community, and focus on self-care. Trust us, Instagram will be right there when you're ready!

Resources

• Student Counseling Center
  • 806.742.3674 | studentcounselingcenter@ttu.edu | Student Wellness Center 201
• Student Mental Health Community
  • 806.834.6717 |heather.frazier@ttu.edu | Weeks Hall 2nd floor
• Student Health Services
  • 806.742.2848 | studenthealthservices@ttuhsc.edu | 1003 Flint (Corner of Flint and Main)
• Student Activities Board
  • 806.742.4708 | sab@ttu.edu |1502 Akron Ave. Suite 020

References

Calm Editorial Team. (2024). Social Media detox: 12 ways to scroll less and live more. Calm. 

Durrani, A.R. (2024). The illusion of Reality how people rely on social media rather than real life. Medium. 

Leetaru, K. (n.d.). Does Social Media Actually Reflect Reality? Forbes. 

The Jed Foundation. (2025). Understanding social comparison on social media: Jed. The Jed Foundation. 

Yang, J.  (2024). How a small but vocal minority of social media users distort reality and sow division. PBS News. 

 

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