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RISE Blog | RISE Blog | Redefining FOMO: Fun on My Own

Written By: Andrea Nuñez, Ashliegh Rigtrup, Kylie Crowe, and Nishita Amle, Peer Educators
Edited By: Mariah Carlo
October 25th, 2024

If you’ve ever been lonely, you're not alone, nearly half of adults in the U.S. have reported feeling disconnected or isolated at some point in their life (Rosen, 2023). Although most of us are familiar with the feeling, loneliness is the emotional weight we feel when we lack social interactions. This feeling can often be associated with the Fear of Missing Out or FOMO. Let’s be real, whether it’s missing out on time with friends, family, or just feeling like you don’t go out enough, we’ve all experienced a similar guilt. The good news?  FOMO doesn’t have to be all bad, there are plenty of ways to ease those negative feelings and refocus your attention on having fun by yourself. It's important to address loneliness head-on because if we don't, it can seriously impact both our physical and mental wellness. In this blog, we'll familiarize ourselves with what loneliness really is, how to address it, and simple ways we can support ourselves through it.

Factors of FOMO

Has there ever been a moment in your life where you’ve thought, “Wow, they look like they are having so much fun without me.” or “Why didn’t I get invited?” If so, you’re not alone, as many of us have had the same, if not similar, thoughts. There are lots of factors that can trigger FOMO, such as mental health, low self-esteem, and social media.  Similarly, when we want to be socially accepted our minds tend to make us believe that what we are missing out on is more important than it actually is.

Experiencing FOMO isn’t unnatural, in fact it’s “characterized by the irrational fear that other people are being more social…and living better lives than you are, regardless of how close you are to them” (Stethoscope Magazine, 2020). FOMO can cause us to have low self-esteem and shift our mindsets about certain situations. Our mindset can cause us to think that we are missing out on something when, at the end of the day, we might not even want to do that certain thing. Anxiety disorder and depression can both lend themselves to experiencing FOMO more often and with longer lasting effects” (Cleveland Clinic, 2023b).

 FOMO can come from almost anywhere, depending on how we view the world. How we choose to shape our mindset in the moment determines whether we experience FOMO as “fear of missing out” or whether we use it as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Now you may be asking “So how can I shift my mindset?”

*Hint hint, if you read on you can find out*

Fighting FOMO

There are various ways to overcome FOMO, including setting goals, establishing boundaries, and prioritizing self-care. Setting goals is helpful to combat FOMO because they make you aware of how you are succeeding. By considering if what you are doing will help you reach your goals or benefit you in the long run, you are able to shift your perspective from feeling like you are missing out, to doing what is best for you in the long run. Establishing boundaries with friends or family is another way you can overcome the feeling of missing out. To name a few, boundaries may look like taking a little extra time to yourself, choosing friends, and deciding how much social activity you can handle.

Most importantly, we can prioritize self-care by finding things we enjoy doing and setting aside time for those activities. Ideas to practice self-care include self-reflection, less screen time, taking a relaxing dark bath with candles, or exercise. Doing activities, we enjoy can help us connect with ourselves No one can be as cool as you when you enjoy doing things you love by yourself.

Social media is another big contributor to FOMO. By taking some time away from social media, we can help reduce the amount of FOMO that we feel (don’t worry, the funny animal reels and aesthetic posts will still be there when you get back). When weighing the options of things we can do, choosing our happiness and peace of mind has more fulfilling results, even if it means missing out on something else. At the end of the day, prioritizing yourself and your boundaries is more important than the pressure of saying yes to every hangout.

Combating FOMO with self-care practices and mindfulness techniques empowers us to regain control over our emotional well-being and promotes a more positive outlook on life. Mindful social media usage is an extremely helpful tool. By limiting exposure to social platforms, we can avoid the constant cycle of comparison that often triggers FOMO. Instead, we learn to appreciate our current moments, reinforcing the value of our experiences (Scott, 2024). Creating scheduled breaks from social media allows space for self-reflection and encourages personal growth. Practicing these habits is most definitely very mindful and demure for our mental health. Moreover, research indicates that people who regularly practice gratitude report better mental health and reduced feelings of inadequacy, making it easier to combat FOMO (Cleveland Clinic, 2023a). Shifting your focus from what you’re missing out on to what you already have helps cultivate a mindset of abundance. Integrating these mindful practices into daily life not only transforms FOMO into an opportunity for self-growth but also leads to a deeper sense of self-awareness. As we prioritize self-care, we become better equipped to make the most of our time alone, creating a fulfilling balance between solitude and social interaction. Maintaining these habits can be challenging but with consistency and mentally reinforcing their benefits, we can adjust our view of ourselves and others.  

Fear Of Missing Out or Fun on My Own?

Our mindset is a powerful tool that can help us change how we think about “missing out”. FOMO is often intensified by societal norms and social media, which causes many people to judge their situations based on social comparison rather than genuine personal desire (don’t worry we all do it, so you’re not alone). Questioning whether our feelings of FOMO are self-generated or influenced by societal expectations, can allow us to differentiate between our true interests and those imposed by others.

Changing our mindset is essential for overcoming feelings of isolation. Reframing our negative thoughts can help shift our feelings about situations; instead of thinking, “I’m missing out,” we might adopt the perspective of “I’m choosing to enjoy my own company.” This shift empowers us to embrace solitude as a positive experience. Additionally, reflecting on activities we enjoy alone can cultivate a fulfilling solo experience. Hobbies like reading, painting, going to the movies, or hiking can provide joy and satisfaction, demonstrating that being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely (and yes, there is a difference). When friends go out, it can again be beneficial to reframe the situation and view your time alone as an opportunity for self-care. For instance, choosing to stay in to watch a movie by yourself because rollerblading isn't your thing, allows you to engage in self-awareness and value personal pursuits. Ultimately, FOMO is largely a construct of societal influence but by cultivating a strong sense of self and embracing personal interests, we can minimize its effects. When we are content with who we are and what we enjoy, we may find that FOMO fades away, allowing us to fully appreciate and enjoy our own company.

It's important to recognize that feelings of loneliness and FOMO are very common, as recent statistics indicate that one in three Americans experience loneliness on a regular basis (American Psychiatric Association, 2023). We can combat this feeling by keeping the following in mind the following:

  1. Always remind yourself that you are not alone in these feelings, and there are many strategies, like practicing gratitude, limiting social media use, and engaging in solo activities, which can help reduce their intensity.
  2. Ask for help! Your feelings are always valid, and it is okay to speak up about feeling left out. There are numerous resources available to help you navigate these emotions and find support.
  3. Recognize the signs. Knowing when you’re feeling FOMO can help you recognize when someone else might be experiencing it as well. If you have a friend distancing themselves, do what you can to help them feel supported. We never know how much of a help we can be when we take action for ourself and for others.  
  4. Shift Your Mindset from having the “fear of missing out” to having “fun on my own.” Take care of yourself and do things that you enjoy because it will lead to a more fulfilling, happy, and healthy life overall.

So next time we think we may be experiencing these feelings, we should ask ourselves, “Do I want the Fear of Missing Out or do I want to have Fun on My Own?”

Resources

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2023). New APA poll: One in Three Americans Feels Lonely. 

Cleveland Clinic. (2023a). FOMO is Real: How the Fear of Missing Out Affects Your Health. 

Cleveland Clinic. (2023b). What Is JOMO? How To Enjoy Missing Out. 

Dugan, S. (2023). Psychology Professor on the “Loneliness Epidemic” — and How to Counter It. University of Denver College of Arts, Humanities & Social Sciences. 

EClinical Medicine. (2023). The Epidemic of Loneliness. National Library of Medicine

Festa F., Douglis S. (2022). How to Overcome FOMO. NPR.org. 

Keith, K. (2020). Can’t Miss Out: The Science Behind FOMO In College. Stethoscope Magazine.

McKee, P. C., Budnick, C. J., Walters, K. S., & Antonios, I. (2022). College Student Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) And Maladaptive Behavior: Traditional Statistical Modeling and Predictive Analysis Using Machine Learning. PLoS One. 

Scott E. (2024). How to Deal With FOMO in Your Life. Verywell Mind. 

Stanford Report. (2021). Your Powerful, Changeable Mindset.

Rosen, D. K. (2023). An Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation. Brown University Health. 

Weill Cornell Medicine. (2024). America’s Loneliness Epidemic: What is to Be Done?. 

 

 

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